All too often I hear moms say that they aren’t a good mom. Or they tell me they feel guilty because they yelled at their kids again today after yelling at them louder than ever yesterday. Every time I hear this, I tell these moms that I get it. I get it, because I’ve been there. I’m there almost daily. We all doubt ourselves as moms. Between the constant pressure to always be on and be our kids entertainment director, to the pressure to be the perfect Pinterest mom it’s almost impossible not to feel mom guilt at some point or another. The thing is, we are all good moms. It doesn’t matter how loud you yelled or how long you allowed your kids to have screen time this week. You’re still a good mom!
Unfortunately we just don’t hear this enough. People don’t stop you in the grocery store to tell you that you’re doing a good job buying groceries to make sure that your family is fed. No one stops you in the carpool line to say, “Good job getting Sally to school every day this month even though she fought you for 30 minutes to get dressed and out the door!”
But I’m going to say it now and I’m going to say it loud! You are a good mom!
5 Reasons Why You’re A Good Mom
Here are five reasons why you’re a good mom. I’m sure there are many more, but I’m just give you the first five I can think of. Feel free to add your own in the comments.
- You keep getting up every day to take care of your kids even though you have no idea what you’re doing.
- You’re keeping them alive.
- You feed them every day. We all know this is much harder than it sounds. It not only means planning what to feed them, it means going to the grocery store. Which also means finding that specific brand of macaroni and cheese that your daughter likes because it has the unicorn shapes and then going to another grocery store because the one by your house no longer has that kind. Feeding your kids also means finding the energy to make dinner every night after you’ve been either working outside of the home all day or you’ve been chasing toddlers, changing diapers, and picking up legos so that you don’t step on them and end up with another giant bruise on the bottom of your foot. More importantly it means having the patience to not flip your lid when your kid asks you for the fifteenth time what you’re having for dinner and scrunches his face when you tell him you’re having what was his favorite meal last week yet he no longer likes it.
- You want to be better. You’re constantly looking for the next parenting book or podcast so that you can learn better ways to handle your kids behavior. Even if you aren’t, you the fact that you feel guilty about not being a good mom means that you are a good mom!
- You love your kids more than anything. Tell me if I’m wrong, but the moment you laid eyes on them was the best moment of your life. You never knew you could love someone so much. Now I’m not saying that there aren’t times when you don’t hate their guts, but you still love them at the same time. Or maybe I should say that you hate the way they’re acting. You get what I’m saying. I’d never say that I hate my kids to their face.
Being A Mom Is Hard
Moms, we all know that this crazy thing we call motherhood is hard. It’s probably one of the hardest things you’ll ever do. And you may never truly believe that you’re doing a good job, but if you remember one thing from this post I hope you’ll remember this. You are a good mom because you care!
You don’t have to be a perfect mom to be a good mom. I hate to burst your bubble, but you never will be perfect. In fact, you’ll exhaust yourself trying to be one. If you’re feeling guilty about the time you messed up and forgot to make sure your daughter’s favorite outfit was clean for picture day you’re still a good mom or you’re feeling awful because you screamed at your kids so loud you scared yourself last night, you’re still a good mom. There are 365 days in a year. How many of those days did you NOT yell at your kids? Even if you had a bad year and yelled a lot. I’m pretty sure you didn’t yell every day. And more than likely, you didn’t yell more days than you did.
I know that I’ve said it too many times for one blog post, but I hope you know that you are a good mom. Even despite your flaws, you’re doing a good job!
Still having a hard time believing that you’re a good mom? If you think you might need more support reach out to Patrice. You can set up a free phone consultation to see if working with her would be a good fit.
As Postpartum Support Internationals motto says, “You are not alone. You are not to blame. With help you will be well.”