Having a baby is one of the most exciting times of a woman’s life but no one tells you how lonely it can be. Especially for stay at home moms who spend all day with their newborn or toddler, motherhood can be isolating. I remember waiting for my husband to come home and stalking his location on find my iPhone only for him to come home from work and going upstairs because he needed time to decompress.

The feeling of loneliness that being a stay at home mom brings is part of the reason that I started my counseling practice to help moms. For me, it was so isolating at times that I often questioned my decision to be a stay at home mom. I constantly contemplated going back to work, but I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do.

I recently read a post on Instagram where the mom said that she would go to Costco just to get out of the house and be around other people. She now has her Costco membership card to prove it because in her membership photo she is wearing her baby!

Becoming a mom can be isolating and lonely, but it doesn’t have to be. It takes intention to get yourself out of the house and to find others for support. Building your “village” can be a challenge, but there are ways to do it. Read on, for my top 10 tips for overcoming the loneliness of motherhood.

Top 10 Tips For Overcoming The Loneliness of Motherhood

1. Put the baby in a stroller and go for a walk. Even if you just go around the block, it helps you get your endorphins flowing and being outside can also help increase your vitamin d.
2. Go to Target or Costco or somewhere else you like to shop so you can be around other people.
3. Sign up for a mommy and me yoga class or music class.
4. Join a moms group so that you can build your village. My friends from playgroups that I joined when my kids were little are like family now. Our kids have grown up together and our husbands are even friends.
5. Go to a park and actually talk to other moms. Strike up a conversation about how old their kid is or where they live. Tell them you like their shirt and ask where they got it. Talk about how hard it has been to get out of the house to go shopping since you had the baby. If it feels like someone you’d want to be friends with, you can ask for their number so you can meet up at the park again another day. They might think you’re a stalker, but who knows. Maybe they’ll give it to you and become your friend for life.
6. Join a Mom’s Support Group. If you’re in Georgia, we have a Postpartum Moms Therapy Group that meets every other Wednesday at 10am. We’d love to have you join us!
7. Find a purpose. Maybe that means going back to school, getting a small part-time job, or finding a hobby. Find something that makes you feel like you have a purpose.
8. Get involved in a church. This is a great way to meet other moms and they might even have childcare! Finding some sort of spirituality can help you get through difficult emotions too.
9. Find a way to volunteer. When your kids are old enough to go to school you can volunteer at their school. This is a great way to meet people and it also helps you feel like you have a purpose. There are also places you can volunteer and bring your kids or maybe they have childcare.
10. Go to mom and me events at your local library. The more you go, the more you’ll see the same moms and you can find ways to talk to them.

If you’re feeling lonely to the point that it’s making you sad most of the time, reach out to see if counseling with Patrice might be a good fit for you. We can work on other ways to help you manage those feelings and also build your village. You are not alone!