How To Be Antiracist As A Mom: Part 2

It’s been a little over a year since Ahmaud Arbery was murdered. The horrific video that surfaced at that time left me feeling convicted to stand up against racism.

Not long after that, George Floyd’s murder was caught on video and shared with the world. I quickly became aware of how many countless other BIPOC have been unjustly killed for senseless reasons, when it could have been avoided. The injustices and systematic racism that minorities in our country face became clearer and clearer to me.

I felt like I needed to use my platform to stand up and speak out against these injustices. I’ve done a few bold things like posting this article on how to raise anti-racist kids.  A group where I live has been protesting monthly and sometimes weekly and I’ve participated as often as I can.

mom holding sign at antiracist moms protest that says Black Lives Matter to me

While those things may be bold, I haven’t done enough.

I still have been ashamed or scared to speak up when I should. I also allow my fears of the ramification of protesting to scare me away from committing to being there every time.

So much has happened in our country over the past year. Most recently the ruthless killing of another Black man who didn’t deserve to die, Daunte Wright.

Relationships have been torn apart as a result, because let’s face it, our country is split on the issue of racism. Nevertheless, I think it’s important for me to continue speaking out and sharing what I’m learning. I have to continue to face the discomfort that comes with this type of work and strive to do better.

So here are a few things that I’ve learned about systemic racism in our country over the past year. The racism that many have to deal with on a daily basis. I’m going to also include a few ways you can be anti-racist, especially if you’re a mom.

What I’ve Learned About Systemic Racism

  • Black, Indigenous, and People of Color who are authors are far too underrepresented in our literature.

I have done a few book studies recently, including Why Are All The Black Kids Sitting Together In The Cafeteria by Beverly Daniel Tatum. Tatum points this out in her book, and until I read it I had never even thought about how few BIPOC authors I actually knew of.

Can you think of any or was it just me? That doesn’t mean they aren’t out there. I think it’s just that we don’t know about them. Have you ever stopped to think about why that is?

  • Minorities are often depicted in stereotypical ways in media.

Think about how many movies and shows you’ve seen with BIPOC as the main characters. How are they depicted? Is it in a negative way?

Since I’ve been more aware of my own biases it’s easier than it ever was for me before to see these things. The more I’ve explored these feelings and allowed myself to feel the discomfort that comes up, the more comfortable I become in standing up and speaking out against them.

  • We need to be careful of what we say.

For example, someone recently posted this article in an online group that I’m in.  Author Elizabeth Sherman points out that saying things like “my tribe” is offensive to American Indians.

“A tribe isn’t your squad of friends, and deeming it as such erases the battles these actual tribal communities fought to be federally recognized.”

Once you start to become more aware of terms that can have racial undertones, like chief and spirit animal, you will start noticing them daily.

I challenge you to stop yourself. Find another word that says the same thing. If you forget, it’s ok. It takes time to change a habit, but don’t continue doing it without acknowledging that it’s wrong. Apologize if you said it in front of someone else and point out that you shouldn’t have said it.

  • Meet people where they are.

Another way that you can be more actively anti-racist is to meet people with different opinions and beliefs than you where they are. Just because you disagree with someone, doesn’t mean you should come at them on your soapbox. Making someone feel guilty about why they’re wrong won’t get you far.

All that will likely do is make them even more defensive and dig their heels into what they’ve already said or thought. Instead, try to understand where the inappropriate behavior or opinion is coming from.  Rather than arguing with them, ask why they think that way and become genuinely interested in their answer.

You have to understand that there are layers upon layers upon layers of generational biases that these behaviors and words are coming from. Engaging in arguments doesn’t get you very far. But understanding from a place of love and compassion will get you much further.

It’s like that saying goes, you kill far more bees with honey. I am well aware that my beliefs are not the same as everyone in our country and that’s OK. I believe God actually made us all different for a reason. He didn’t want us to all be the same.

  • Listen to Black voices.

This is probably the most important tip I can give you. I mentioned it in my previous post about raising antiracist kids, but I think it’s necessary to say it again. You can listen to Black voices in many ways like blogs, podcasts, and books. Ideally, you would have personal friendships where you can have honest and open conversations about what needs to be done to be their ally. That being said, just because you have friends who are Black, doesn’t mean that you are antiracist. That is only just the beginning.

These are a few things that I’ve noticed over the past year as I’ve set out on this journey to being anti-racist. I know that this will always be a work in progress for me and I have so much more to learn.

25 resources for moms on being antiracist with moms hugging

Resources To Promote Diversity And Antiracism

As promised, here are some resources that I’ve found helpful while exploring my role in helping to fight racial injustice and systematic racism.

First, these children’s books all include BIPOC as the main characters. I recommend ordering some of these for your family or checking them out from your local library.

The more we can support these authors and show the publishing companies that they are needed, the more likely they are to get published. Not only should Black children see themselves in books, I also think it’s important for White children to see BIPOC as characters in the books that they read.

10 Children’s Books With Diverse Characters

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The Hula-Hoopin Queen by Thelma-Lynn Godin

What If by Samantha Berger illustrated by Mike Curato

Pepper Zhang by Jerry Zhang

Honeysmoke by Monique Fields

Skin Like Mine by Latashia M. Perry

Listening To My Heart by Gabi Garcia

I’m Mixed by Maggie Williams

Antiracist Baby by Ibram X. Kendi

From The Desk of Zoe Washington by Janae Marks

The ABCs of Black History by Rio Cortez

5 Black-Owned Bookstores To Support

Medu Bookstore in Atlanta, Georgia

Medu Bookstore has been operational in the Atlanta area for more than twenty years and specializes in culturally significant and often hard to find books. They have a list of special events on their calendar that includes lectures by Black authors and storytelling children’s books.

Good Books in Atlanta, Georgia

Good books was founded by a mother-daughter duo who want to show their love to their community and encourage a love for reading. They are based out of Atlanta, Georgia but are currently 100% online. They ship to all 50 states in the U.S.

Cultured Books in St. Petersburg, FL

Cultured Books is a pop-up children’s bookstore, with a mission to first foster a love of self by showing positive images and sharing great stories about people of color. To show children our stories don’t begin with struggle and second, to broaden world views. They host story times, book clubs, and even community events.

The Listening Tree in Decatur, Georgia

The Listening Tree is a children’s bookstore and education center who’s mission is to perpetuate a love of literacy and learning in the global community. The have a Young Entrepreneurs Program committed to bringing economic justice through proper education in Finances, Self Interest and Business Start-up.

All Things Inspiration Giftique in Mableton, Georgia

All Things Inspiration Giftique is a Christian bookstore that sells a carefully curated selection of Bibles, Christian Literature, Fiction, and Nonfiction titles, African American Literature, and more.

Adult Books About How To Be Antiracist

I think learning more about your own biases is the best place you can start if you want to be anti-racist. There is so much more to it, but you have to start somewhere. If you don’t face your racist beliefs you will never be able to make the changes that are necessary. There are many different books out there to help you on this journey. These are only a few that I have begun reading. If you have more to add to this list, I’d love for you to share them in the comments.

1.  How To Be An Antiracist by Ibram X. Kendi.

Last year I listened to a live panel that Ibram did on YouTube with the Prince George’s Memorial Library about his book How To Be An Antiracist. I learned more about systemic racism and how to go about fighting it in that hour than I have anywhere else. He is very easy to relate to, kind, compassionate, and will keep you wanting to read more.

2. Be The Bridge by Natasha Morrison

I referenced this book previously when talking about how I had never really considered the fact that we don’t often hear about Black authors. Since I was a part of this book study, it has become clear to me how little we celebrate BIPOC’s success.

If you truly believe that all people are created equal, why wouldn’t there be just as many success stories about Black people who have written books, movies, or plays than White? Maybe it’s because I haven’t been looking for them. Or maybe it’s because

3. Me & White Supremacy: Combat Racism, Change the World, and Become a Good Ancestor by Layla Saad

4. Why Are All The Black Kids Sitting Together In The Cafeteria? by Beverly Daniel Tatum

5. White Fragility by Robin DiAngelo

6. This Book is Anti-Racist by Tiffany Jewell and Illustrated by Aurelia Durand

7. Black and White: Dismantling Racism One Friendship at a Time by Teesha Hadra and John Hambrick

8. Caste: the Origins of Our Discontents by Isabel Wilkerson

9. Let Love Have The Last Word by Common 

This book is not necessarily about being anti-racist, but it’s about musical artist and actor Common’s journey to understanding love and how it can help build communities.

10. The Color of Compromise by Jamar Tisby

There is still so much work to be done in eliminating systemic racism, and these resources are not exhaustive. But I hope they at least give you a starting point about how to be an antiracist mom.

I’d love for you to add your own resources to this list by commenting below!


Raising Anti-Racist Kids- 7 Things Moms Can Do

I’m a mom and I’m committing myself to raising anti-racist kids. This comes from not only the way my parents raised me, but also my own personal desire for all of God’s creation to feel as if they are equals.

Here’s my story and what led to my passion for this cause:

Growing up in a small town in the South, I remember racism being prevalent. But I don’t ever remember considering myself to be a racist.

My parents were very liberal and my dad was actively involved in campaigning for the teachers’ union in our county. We attended church every Sunday and Christianity was instilled in me at a young age. I was taught to love everyone and to be accepting of all people no matter who they are, what they look like, or what they do.

My parents wanted to help others and they modeled this for my brothers and I. They opened their home to everyone and were often giving their time and money to people who were less fortunate than us.

In fact, we typically had friends spending the night for days (and sometimes even years) at a time because they would rather be at our house than go home.

I remember my mom would ask how many people would be eating dinner with us that night because she knew the chances of having extra mouths to feed was likely.

At least once a week she would say, ‘Yes they can stay for dinner, but I just need to know how many!”

I don’t ever remember race having anything to do with how my family treated people. We were friendly and kind to everyone.

My first major crush in high school was Black. When he started actually pursuing me, I remember not even really giving him a chance because I was scared. Looking back now I realize that I was afraid of what people would think if I dated him. I wasn’t willing to follow my heart and engage in a bi-racial relationship.

Celebrating Black History

Understanding White Privilege

When I went to college I decided to major in psychology, because I knew I wanted to help people. So I became a mental health counselor. The required multicultural awareness classes I took in school forced me to begin looking at some of my personal biases.

I still didn’t think I was racist though.  Because to me, racism meant hatred, and I never could truly hate anyone. I thought that if in my heart I knew everyone should be treated equally and I tried my best to do that, it would mean I’m not racist.

When I hear friends making racial comments or jokes, I don’t tell them it’s wrong. I don’t defriend those people. I don’t use my privilege as a White American woman to stand up for those who haven’t been able to for so many years.

When I watched the video of Ahmaud Arbory being shot by two White men in my own state, I was sickened and heartbroken. The lack of justice served to the men who killed him very brutally reminded me that racism still exists and is a major problem. It was like a slap in the face.

Since then I have been paying attention to the news stories that have been shared about all of the injustice people of color face on a daily basis in our country.

The stories about Breonna Taylor, and countless others that we don’t even know about because they haven’t been blasted on the news and social media.

I see them through a different lens now. I won’t pretend to truly understand, but I am pledging to stand with the Black Lives Matter movement because I truly believe in it.


Ernest Williams, a 27-year-old Black journalist was recently quoted in an interview with The New York Times saying:

“While many have good intentions, true allyship — supporting Black businesses, deeply exploring personal bias and ferreting out ways that White privilege contributes to persistent racism — must happen in order to genuinely stand in solidarity with the marginalized and oppressed.”

But how can we do that, you might ask? What does that even mean as a mom? How can I raise anti-racist kids and help reverse systemic racism for the generations of our future?

I’m no expert, but I’ve learned a few things that aren’t that hard to implement. Some of them may feel uncomfortable at first, but the more you do them the more you’ll realize pushing through that discomfort is worth it.

7 Things Moms Can Do To Raise Anti-Racist Kids


Every American with an education knows that Blacks were once slaves in our country. But do you know all of the details? Did you even pay attention in American History class?

Or did you push that part out of your mind like I did, because the thought of it made you feel uncomfortable? Besides slavery was abolished years ago and Black people were given the right to vote right? So what do we even need to fight about anymore?

Let us not forget that the White leaders of our country sailed to Africa in the 1600s and brought Black people here against their will to be slaves. They took away their names, took away their rights, and took away their culture. They beat them and treated them as if they were animals.

Abraham Lincoln issued the Emancipation Proclamation in 1863 which freed slaves from their owners, and the 13th Amendment passed in 1865 abolishing slavery.

Even still, Blacks were not given equal rights- like the right to vote, until the Civil Rights act was passed in 1964.

That was 100 years later!!

This only scratches the surface of the history of inequality and injustice that Black people have faced. Do your own research and educate yourself on the facts. Try to really understand where the built-up anger that the Black community is expressing is coming from.


Listen to what Black people are saying. Be quick to listen and slow to speak. Listen to Black people’s stories and experiences of racism. Let them speak without interrupting.

Please don’t say, “But don’t all lives matter?”

Because right now we’re talking about the racism leading to George Floyd being murdered when it wasn’t necessary. We need to listen to Black people speak about how they have been racially profiled their entire life.

Even if you don’t agree that their experience was about race, it doesn’t matter. YOU are not the one who lived it and if to them it felt that they were treated differently because of their race, THAT’S what is important.

That’s the whole point.


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I’ve learned a lot already just by listening to other peoples’ stories and experiences with racism. By engaging in those conversations, I’m becoming more aware of my role.

I’m remembering times in my own life where I used race to form opinions or act on my feelings without even realizing it. Like the times I saw a Black man walking behind me and sped up because I was scared. Even though that man didn’t do anything wrong.

I’m admitting to myself that I was the one who was wrong. Once you open your eyes, these prejudices are all around you.

Chances are, I may make mistakes again. I won’t pretend to be an expert on this subject, because I’m only recently owning my part.  What I am doing is committing myself to the cause.

I just downloaded White Fragility, Why It’s So Hard For White People To Talk About Racism by Robin DiAngelo. I’m challenging myself to read it and confront my discomfort about the topic of racism.

We consider a challenge to our racial worldview as a challenge to our very identities as good, moral people.

Robin DiAngelo in “White Fragility“

“How To Be An AntiRacist“ by Iram X. Kendi is another book I’m planning to read.


I’m committing to stand up for others who are treated unfairly. I’m not going to be silent anymore when someone makes a racial comment that offends me. Even though I might feel uncomfortable, I’m not going to let that stop me.

Webster’s dictionary defines an advocate as someone who pleads or supports the cause of another. If you want to be a true advocate, you have to support the cause you’re advocating not only with your words but with your actions.


I haven’t been supporting Black-owned businesses as much as I could be. If I’m being honest, I might even have avoided these businesses at times for fear of feeling out of place.

Now that I’m aware, I can make a conscious effort to change this.


You may think that kids don’t see color and I believe that to be true. I actually tested my own 5 and 8-year-olds to see if they noticed there was a difference in people’s skin color and they didn’t.

Not long after George Floyd was killed, my 8-year-old overheard my Black sister-in-law crying when my mom was talking to her about it. He didn’t understand why she was so upset.

I explained to him what happened in age-appropriate terms. It would have been easier to say nothing happened and tell him not to worry about it, but I want him to know what his cousins are potentially facing. I want him to feel confident as a child to stand up to racism so that he always will.

Then, we watched our public library’s virtual storytime. The special guest was Stacey Abrams, a Black voting rights activist. She read the books Lillian’s Right To Vote, by Jonah Winter and A Is For Activist, by Innosanto Nagara.


I wasn’t really prepared for the difficult questions my kids asked afterward. They didn’t understand why Black people were ever not allowed to vote. They also didn’t understand how people could treat someone differently because of the color of their skin.

I did my best to answer their questions and we talked about how not everyone loves others unconditionally like we do. I may have stumbled through it, but they still learned about the history of our country.

Books can be a great way to help you navigate difficult conversations with children. I highly recommend the two mentioned above. There are many others out there!


This is only the beginning. I know this list is not all-inclusive.

We will learn as we go that there is more work to be done. But I’m publicly proclaiming my commitment to being a part of the solution, and no longer a part of the problem in the fight against racism.

I don’t want to be silent anymore.

Will you join me? If so, help us spread the word by sharing this post on social media!

Related Post

How To Be Antiracist As A Mom: Part 2

text 7 things moms can do to raise anti-racist kids + chalk drawing of blog with stick figures holding hands around it

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