We’ve all heard that hormones can affect us during and after pregnancy, but does anyone really talk about what to do with all of these emotions? You might feel excited and happy one minute, then worried or sad the next. You might even feel excited about becoming a mother and scared or sad at the same time. Maybe you’ve spent years trying to get pregnant and now that you actually are, you might not feel the excitement you expected. All of these feelings can be confusing and also upsetting to a new mom.

After birth, your hormones are even more out of whack than during pregnancy. Meeting your baby for the first time is often described as a high due to the rush of endorphins. According to parents.com those labor hormones quickly plummet over the next few days because your body is depleted of progesterone and estrogen. Then oxytocin surges to make up for the loss of progesterone and estrogen. Plus, prolactin increases to encourage milk production. So much is happening with your body all at once.

These hormones all start to balance out over the next 3 to 6 weeks but the first three months are a bit of a whirlwind. You’re not only fighting sleep loss but, also all of the emotions as your system runs mostly on adrenaline to move you through the day.

What Can You Do?

Fortunately, it is possible to take care of your mental health during pregnancy and the postpartum period. There are some things you can do to make the impact of the hormonal shifts more manageable.

1. Accept Help- Accepting help can be hardest to do when you need it most. There is a misconception that moms should know how to do it all on their own. The term “It Takes A Village” originates in African cultures who translate this proverb to mean that regardless of a child’s biological parents, its upbringing belongs to the community. No one woman was ever expected to care for her child alone. Yet many of us are either forced to due to lack of support or we are afraid that accepting help means admitting defeat. This just simply isn’t true. Accept help by being specific about what you need. Allow friends and family to come over to hold the baby while you shower or so that you can get a quick nap in. Accept the offer from friends to set up a meal train or to come fold your laundry. If you can afford it, hire a doula or a nanny to do these things when you don’t have support.
2. Exercise– Movement is so important in helping to regulate your emotions. It produces the feel good endorphins that relieve stress and also helps you sleep better. Plus, if you can go outside to walk or run, vitamin d can play a big role in balancing your mood. When I was newly postpartum with my first, my mom’s best friend told me to go outside and walk every day. She said, “Just put the baby in the stroller and go. Even if you don’t want to.” This was some of the best advice I received and something I share with all of my postpartum clients.
3. Mindfulness– Mindfulness means staying in the present moment. Often our emotions get stuck on something that has already happened or what could happen in the future. This leads to depression and anxiety. Mindfulness encourages you to pay attention to your thoughts, your actions and your body. It means experiencing life as it unfolds moment to moment, good and bad, and without judgment or preconceived notions. Practicing mindfulness as a mom means not brushing your teeth while you walk around the house cleaning up toys and washing bottle parts. Instead it means to focus on one thing at a time. It’s brushing your teeth and only brushing your teeth, paying attention to how you brush each tooth. Other ways you can practice mindfulness are deep breathing exercises, yoga, and guided imagery.
4. Talk To Someone– When I experienced postpartum depression personally, what helped me most was knowing that I wasn’t the only one. Talking to other moms and finding out that they were experiencing some of the same things made me feel better. Talking about difficult emotions can also help get them out of your head which helps them lose power.

It’s natural to have some ups and downs during pregnancy or after the birth of your baby. But if you feel down all the time, make sure you speak to your midwife or doctor about it. If you’re ready to start working with a licensed mental health professional to help you learn to manage these emotions, reach out to Patrice at Mom Life Counseling today for a free 15 minute phone consultation.