Ok so I know that phrase, “It’s ok to not be ok” is trending, but what does it really mean? For me, it means that it’s ok to admit that I can’t do it alone anymore. It’s ok for me to get help with depression and anxiety. The more I talk about it, the more I realize how many other moms with depression and anxiety there are.
I’ve struggled off and on with depression and anxiety since I was a teenager. If you’ve been reading my blog for a while, you probably already know this. It wasn’t until the past few years, that I accepted that it’s ok to admit it though. I spent so many years wanting to help others escape the pain of depression and anxiety, but I didn’t fully face my own issues until recently.
What that looked like for me was admitting that even though I had a Master’s degree in counseling, it was still ok to need counseling myself. For so many years, I found excuses for avoiding it. I have probably made every excuse in the book.
My Excuses Were:
It costs too much.
What if someone finds out?
There aren’t any counselors that I don’t already know.
What if they think I’m crazy?
I don’t have enough time.
What if I don’t like them?
I don’t need to pay someone to tell me to do what I already know I need to do.
But let me tell you this, now that I have found a counselor that I really like and the right combination of medicine, my only regret is not starting it sooner. A friend recently said that she wished when she had her first child that someone had pushed her a little harder to start antidepressant medication. Now that she’s on it, she can see how much it’s helping her.
Another friend said that once she started taking anti-depressants she thought, “Wow, is this how good everyone else feels? I had no idea how depressed I was before!”
Moms with depression can feel too overwhelmed to get help.
I know how hard it is to get yourself out of bed some days. Making yourself go through the motions to get your kids to school and make sure your house doesn’t burn down can be exhausting to any mom. Add depression to the mix, and it can feel almost impossible. So I get why reaching out for help can be the last thing you want to do. I promise it will be worth it.
Depression and anxiety can also make you think you’re a bad mom. If you’re already feeling worthless and hopeless, having kids who seem to never be satisfied can make you feel like you’re never enough. For some strange reason, there is a societal pressure to be super mom. We’re expected to get up at 5 am just so we can shower, wash our hair, put on a fresh face, pack our kids organic lunches, and send them off to school with bows in their hair and a smile.
If you struggle with anxiety, you already know that you second guess every decision you make. If you don’t you probably spend alot of your time comparing yourself to every other mom, wondering if you’re doing a good enough job. But I promise you, if you are keeping your kids fed and dressed (even if that means they wear pjs all day while doing virtual school), you are enough! If you’re feeling like you just can’t do it anymore though, that’s ok too.
Just because it’s ok to feel that way, to not feel ok or like you can’t provide your kids their basic needs anymore, doesn’t mean you have to suffer. Learn from my mistakes and admit defeat before you spend one more day suffering.
Reach Out For Help
If you don’t know where to begin, just try. Call your mom or call your best friend and tell them that you’re riding the struggle bus. I promise you that you are not alone.
The more you talk about how hard being a mom is, the more you will find that you aren’t the only one who struggles.
Here are 10 celebrity moms with depression that you probably didn’t even know struggled!
I’m not saying that you have to go see a counselor or take medication if motherhood feels like a struggle to you. There’s no mom out there who hasn’t struggled at some point since becoming a mom.
What I am saying though is if you are at the point where you just can’t do it anymore, it’s ok. It’s ok to not be ok, but that doesn’t mean you have to not be ok forever.
Sometimes it’s hard to know if what you’re feeling is the sadness that everyone experiences at some point or if what you’re feeling is depression.
Healthline lists the following 8 symptoms that might help you decide if it’s time to get help:
Possible Signs of Depression:
- Hopeless outlook
- Loss of interest in things you used to enjoy
- Increased fatigue and sleep problems
- Changes in appetite and weight
- Uncontrollable emotions
- Thinking about death more often
If you’re unsure, it doesn’t hurt to reach out for help either way. Even if the sadness or other emotions you’re feeling are not depression, it’s still ok to talk to a therapist. Or find a friend that you can share how you’re feeling with. If you don’t have a friend that you feel comfortable talking to, I’m always here to listen!
Make sure to share this post with other moms with depression and anxiety so they can see that they aren’t alone!
9 thoughts on “It’s Ok To Admit Defeat”
Thanks for sharing. Knowing that I am not the only one who feels this way when dealing with teenagers makes me feel like I am not alone.
You’re definitely not alone!
Such a real and raw post. Thank you for sharing, if everyone shares it really does help remove the stigma.
I agree! Thanks for stopping by and for your support!
What a wonderful post, its truly touching that you’re sharing your own raw experiences to help other people feel more normal and comfortable asking for help.
Thank you so much for the support!
In both my postpartums, I’ve struggled with a lot of these symptoms. But never enough to be clinically diagnosed. There has to be some sort of support for the in-betweens too. 🙁
I agree! Great point!
I love this. Thank you for being brave a sharing. As moms we really feel like we need to be strong all the time and just just don’t. ❤ We are human, too.