The struggle is REAL peeps. I know a lot of moms and a lot of people who are trying to be moms right now. I guess it’s the season of life that I’m in. In fact, most of my friends are moms, because I’ve tried really hard to build a support network for myself and belong to a few moms’ groups.

Currently, I am struggling with a bit of a spell of insomnia. The reason I used that phrase is because it reminds me of the current Netflix series I’ve been watching late at night when I can’t sleep. It was originally aired in Australia on ABC in 2017. The main character is a mom who is struggling with the identity crisis of becoming a mom. It’s called “The Letdown” for any who may be interested. This show has had me laughing out loud even in my toughest moments. It’s what I think you call a satirical comedy?

The mom, and of course I’m blanking on her name because my brain is currently in insomnia or “Swiss cheese” mode, has her first child with her partner. She becomes a SAHM (pronounced SA-ham) or as we like to say in my social circle Stay At Home Mom after working in a corporate job. She finds herself struggling to relate due to all the changes she is experiencing as a mom. She seems to try everything and feels worse and worse about herself, because she perceives herself as a “hot mess” with baby brain. This is the part that cracks me up, because I often feel this way and joke about it with some of my friends. She even has the hot mess hairdo that people tend to get when they are sleep deprived.

As I rewatched a facebook live video of myself tonight and processed how I actually looked and sounded vs what I felt like today during a party I hosted with my friend, I actually didn’t look or sound that bad. It reminded me that sometimes we feel like everyone around us is judging us or thinking we’re not doing a good job, but in reality we are. I might have looked tired, but I am so that’s real life right? And being good isn’t what matters anyway, because the word good is subjective. All that really matters to me and my family is that I’m doing the best that I can. I believe that what’s matters to God and I’m striving to be who he wants me to be.

When I’m being a “good” mom, I’m trying to understand what’s really going on with my kids to make them cry or act the way they do. I’m not trying to control them and make them into something they are not. I’m actually just loving and accepting them the way that they are. That’s pretty easy to do when I step back to think about it. I created them anyway- well God did but I birthed them, so they should be pretty awesome right!

The same goes for any relationship as far as what matters most to most people. Everybody just wants to feel ‘LOVED’ and Love is All you Need right? Now I have the Beatles on my mind. That’s not such a bad thing either.


Here’s a photo of the “hot mess” hairdo so you can get a visual 🙂

I better try to go to sleep. I have a feeling I will now that I have some clarity.

Plus, I think I’ve finally decided on the title for my blog (see hashtag above).

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