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The Hardest Job I’ve Ever Had

March 4, 2019January 5, 2021 / Mom Life Counseling, LLC / 3 Comments

I always thought being a stay-at-home-mom was the easiest job you could ever have.

I remember talking to a friend who had two kids who didn’t work outside the home. Anytime I’d ask how she was doing, she’d say how busy she was. Then she’d go into all the things she was doing with her kids- running them around town, trying to cook her family healthy dinners, helping them with their homework, and then at some point I’d tune out.

I’d think to myself,

“How could she be so busy? She has the life any mom would dream of!”

Then after I had my 2nd kid, I decided that going to work full-time and having to pay to put two in daycare just didn’t make sense anymore. Kuddos to those out there that do it. I’m not judging you!

It just didn’t work for our family. I wasn’t feeling rewarded enough in my corporate job for it to be worth it for me. So we decided to take our 2 year old at the time out of day care and that I would stay home with our 2 boys.

Never in my life have I had a harder job before.

I’ve had some pretty tough jobs. Like when I worked as a counselor in inner city Atlanta. I went into peoples homes and taught parents ways to deal with their child’s behavioral issues while fearing for my safety as I heard gunshots outside.

I also worked at a psych hospital where I saw people in full blown psychosis. My job was to convince them to stay in the hospital for a few days so that a doctor could adjust their medication. But first I had to get them past the fact that they thought Jesus was going to come save them from the fires of satan that they felt burning inside of them.

Neither of these jobs were as hard as being a stay-at-home-mom.

Being a mom is a hard job period.

Whether you work full time outside the home, work part-time, or you’re a full time stay-at-home mom. It’s just hard. I’ve done all 3 and I have to say that now I get why my friend was always so busy and exhausted.

The days are long.

As a stay-at-home mom, sometimes it feels like you wake up in the morning and all you can think about is how much longer it is until your husband comes home from work so you can get some relief. Then you realize that it’s only 10 am. The fact that your kids are already on their second breakfast and their fourteenth fight, makes it feel like the day’s never going to end.

The highlight of your day is when you get to see your mom friends at the playground. Even though you won’t get to actually complete a sentence in your conversations.

At the end of the day, I’m so glad that I had the opportunity to quit my job and be at home with my boys while they were little. I wouldn’t take that time back for anything and I hope that one day they’ll appreciate it too.

Now that both of my kids are in school full time, I’ve gone back to work part-time. It’s been a good balance for me, because I still get afternoons with my boys. Right now I have Fridays off and I can spend them doing whatever I want.

Self-care is important!

Usually for me that means going to the gym, running errands, catching up on laundry, and volunteering at my kids’ school. But sometimes I actually do things that help me feel recharged. Sometimes I go to lunch with friends, do yoga, spend time writing, or just relax doing nothing.

I wouldn’t be able to survive mommy-hood if I didn’t take time to take care of myself and accept help from others.

I really struggled with this at first, but I’ve gotten better and now I know that it’s a must. Sometimes it means asking my mom to babysit so my husband and I can have a date night. Sometimes it’s as simple as letting my husband cook dinner (or order pizza) so I can have a night off.

I have to allow myself a break so that I can be a better mom when I’m back in it. Even if it means letting the laundry pile turn into more of a mountain and the dishes overflow in the sink so that I can go get a massage on my day off.

I hope you find what helps you recharge and that you’ll ask for help when you need it. I also hope that I can give you some tips to make being a mom a little easier.

Let me know in the comments what your favorite ways to take care of yourself are.

Self-care For Busy Moms

10 Things Moms Wish Someone Had Told Them About Being A New Mom

I always thought being a stay at home mom was easy. But this is why I soon realized that being a mom period, is the hardest job I've ever had! #momlife #stayathomemomstruggles

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The Youngest Child Syndrome

February 28, 2019February 14, 2021 / Mom Life Counseling, LLC / 5 Comments

The other day I sent my 4 year old to time out for hitting his older brother while they were playing a board game. As he was crying in the corner, I realized that I needed to talk to him about what happened. Instead of just giving him a lecture on why he shouldn’t hit his brother, which I also did, I realized that he needed me to acknowledge something. He needed me to notice that it’s not easy being the little brother.

The little brother never gets to pick the show to watch on tv. Even if he does, the big brother will talk him out of watching that one. The little brother is always the last one to the car when you’re going somewhere and someone yells out, “Last one to the car’s a rotten egg!” He’s also the last one to finish his dinner and get dessert and the last one to get his car seatbelt buckled. (It seems like we’re always waiting on him.)

The Benefits Of Being The Little Brother

It’s not always the worst thing in the world to have an older brother. It means you have someone to look up to. Someone to teach you how to do things earlier than most kids your age get to do them. And you get to play with toys that usually only older kids can play with. Plus, there will always be someone there who will look out for you on the playground.

But we often forget how hard it can be to be the little brother. The one who never wins the game. My 4 year old is a pretty smart kid and he’s learning things really fast. He picks up on way more than we give him credit for. But he’s just not old enough to know that the strategy to playing the board game Sorry is to get all of your pawns close to home as fast as possible. He often gets frustrated and sabotages the game by knocking everyone else’s pieces off the board.

I’m Paying Attention

So this time when my boys got into an argument, I tried something different. Instead of just telling my youngest why it’s not ok to hit his brother when he gets mad, I also said, “It’s hard to be the little brother sometimes isn’t it? It’s hard to be the one who doesn’t win.” His little blue eyes looked up at me like his voice had finally been heard.

We had a moment of connection that made me remember why I loved working with kids. I felt that spark that you feel when you really understand what a child is going through and you know that they notice it too.

It’s like a lightbulb goes off somewhere in your brain and you feel warm and fuzzy all over. Now as a mom my heart skips a beat when it happens with my own kids.

Of course his brother was eavesdropping at this point and reminded me that he doesn’t always lose, but I could tell that Charlie needed that moment. He needed to be heard. He need to be validated. I needed it to for him to.

They really do love each other.

My First Post

April 30, 2018February 26, 2021 / Mom Life Counseling, LLC / 1 Comment

I’m officially a blogger! Now it’s time to let my creative juices flow.

What should I write about?

Let me start with telling you a little about myself. I love to travel, eat good food, have fun with my kids, get outside in nature, and work out. I’m hoping to figure out what else I love and dive deeper into these interests. Now I have a good space to write about that along the way!

I should also tell you why I started Mom Life With P. I’ve always enjoyed writing. Actually I should say there have been times in my life where I enjoyed it. I also remember how much I struggled with writing in college and high school because I was such a perfectionist. My writing always had to convey exactly what I was thinking, but also sound interesting to the reader. Looking back, I’m not really sure where that came from. But I still find myself thinking that way today.

Another passion of mine is helping people. As a stay at home mom, I have felt someone like I’ve lost sight of this passion- or maybe I’ve just shifted my focus to helping my kids. I went to graduate school to become a child therapist and went through the 3 year long process of becoming a licensed professional counselor, or LPC. Then when I had my 2nd son, my husband and I realized how much day care would cost for 2 kids at once! So we decided I would quit my job to save money and give me more time to spend with the kids.

Fast forward to now and my kids are both in school full time. So I’m finding myself wanting more. With my husband’s encouragement, I decided to use my passions of writing and helping people. So that’s how Mom Life With P was born! You can find more about me here!

Make sure to follow me on social media and subscribe to my email list so you don’t miss anything!

Mom Life Counseling, LLC

Helping Moms Find Balance and Peace

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