Surviving Summer As A Stay At Home Mom

This post is sponsored by Basic Invite. We will always give our honest opinions on these products and the opinions expressed on this blog are purely our own.

With the end of the school year right around the corner, I’m having mixed emotions. I’m looking forward to sleeping in a little, eating lots of watermelon, going on summer vacation, and hopefully getting to spend our days at the pool.

I’m also dreading it a little bit. Is that bad?

As a stay at home mom, I’m trying to figure out how I’m going to survive this summer. My kids being out of school also means that I will have less time to myself. It also means less time to write, get errands done, and that I basically become their event planner for the summer. 

I’ve been feeling kind of stressed out too. May is always a stressful month to me.

There are so many extra things going on in May such as:

  • Teacher appreciation week
  • Swim team practice
  • Soccer games on Saturdays
  • Taekwondo twice a week
  • Planning summer vacations

Someone pointed out to me the other day that the stress is also because May is a time of transition. We’re transitioning from the school year to the summer. Even though this is mostly a good thing, it still means a change in our routine.

I was thinking about what makes me feel less stressed and I thought other moms might want to hear what I’m doing to help myself survive this summer as a stay at home mom.

5 Tips for Surviving Summer as a “Stay at Home Mom”

1. Lower your expectations. Then lower them again.

I’ve always said that the best way to survive anything as a mom is to lower your expectations. Recently I heard someone add on to that advice by saying to lower your expectations and then make them even lower. It’s such good advice in my opinion. Not because you should strive for being a bad mom this summer. But because we as moms tend to strive for perfection. We think we have to do it all for our kids. In reality what our kids enjoy most are the little things like making memories together and getting our undivided attention.

2. Allow your kids to earn screen time.

One thing I’m planning to do to make this summer easier is to make my kids earn screen time every day. I’m going to do this by using a reward system.

For example: They can read a book, do chores, or play with each other without fighting for 1 hr. Then they’ll earn 1 hour of screen time. My boys are 6 and 9 so an hour is feasable for them. But if you have younger kids, you might want to try 30 minutes.

This will help give my kids something sense of routine and then while they are having screen time I will be able to get things done. I don’t know about you, but the only time I can really get anything done when my kids are home is when they are either watching tv or playing video games. Otherwise, I have to get them a snack, drink, or play referee every 5 minutes. 

3. Plan a vacation or staycation.

Having something to look forward to always helps me get through days that are harder as a mom. This year we’re planning a trip to Disney and to the mountains with family. We’re all looking forward to both trips of course!

4. Schedule self-care.

Find a way to get regular breaks. I blog about the importance of taking care of yourself as a mom pretty often. You can check out my previous posts What Self Care Means To Moms or Self Care For Busy Moms to learn more about why self-care is important.

During the summer when kids will be home 24/7 scheduling self-care into your week or even every day if you can is going to be essential to surviving! Hire a high schooler to help a few hours a week if you can. If you can’t find a way to get a break, then wake up early and take 10 minutes to do something that’s just for you. 

Sometimes I think we make self-care out to be harder than it is. It can become another thing we have to do that we don’t have time for. But even taking 5-10 minutes a day or a few times a week to do something for yourself can help you fill your cup. Then you’ll be able to be a better mom for your kids.

5. Celebrate summer with a party.

Since we have been counting down the days until summer break, I obviously know how excited my kids are for the last day of school. Instead of focusing on the challenges summer will bring, celebrating this transition will be more fun.

We’re going to invite some of our neighbors and school friends over for a water balloon fight on the last day of school. I’ll blow up our kiddie pool and get the water slide out.

I might even ask the ice cream truck to drive by that day. Because what kid doesn’t love ice cream? Nothing says summer more than getting to pick out your favorite treat while listening to the catchy ice cream truck tune.

Planning Your Party

Basic Invite has FREE websites that you can use for your party as well as beautiful stationery to help you get the word out to your guests. Since I just decided at the last minute to throw a Celebrate Summer Party, I’m using the free website tool. Then I can just send the link to our friends and even share it on social media if I want to!

If you have a High School Senior, Basic Invite also has graduation announcements, personalized graduation invites, and graduation open house invitations. They’re great quality and completely customizable.

Basic Invite graduation announcements and party invitations
Basic Invite Graduation Announcements

A few other reasons I like Basic Invite are:

  • Almost Unlimited Color Options- Over 180 different colors to choose from.
  • Custom Samples- So you can see the paper quality and how your invitation will print.
  • Over 40 Different Colors of Envelopes- They’re all peel and seal to make it easier to send them out quickly!
  • Address Capturing Service- Basic Invite offers an address capturing service that allows you to share a link on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, or any other social media to request friends and family’s addresses.
  • Foil- Foil cards are available in gold, silver, and rose gold. You can choose flat or raised foil on all of Basic Invite’s foil designs.

Right now Basic Invite is offering 15% off with coupon code: 15FF51. So it’s a great time to give them a try!

Basic Invite Birthday Invitations

I hope these tips help you survive your summer as a stay at home mom. If you’re a mom, what would you add to the list? We’d love for you to share in the comments!

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Related:

Unusual Pomp and Circumstance

The Grass Is Always Greener For Moms

Has anyone been watching the Canadian tv series Workin’ Moms on Netflix? I first heard about it a few months ago when some of my friends recommended it.

At that point, I had kind of written it off since I wasn’t technically a “working mom.” I worried I wouldn’t be able to relate, and to be honest, kind of brushed it off as rude that they had their own tv show. Those working moms….

But since we’ve had more time at home lately, I’ve found myself binge-watching a lot of tv shows. Sometimes late at night (or in the wee hours of the morning) when I can’t sleep, I surprisingly get some time to watch tv shows that I know my husband will have no interest in.

As I’m sitting here now writing this, it’s, 5 a.m. and I’m doing just that. I’m noticing that the working moms’ club is definitely not exclusive to only moms who work 9-5 jobs outside of the home. In fact, it was never meant to be that way.

How so, you say? Well, because EVERY mom works.

Some may work part-time, some overtime, some even work multiple jobs. But most of us moms never really stop working! Especially if our kids are still little and really as long as they’re still living at home.

Once they go to college the work doesn’t actually stop. It just becomes “work” around trying to get our grown children to cut the apron strings. The focus of parenting changes to teaching them to support themselves without us physically being there every day.

Our Current Situation

With most schools deciding to go virtual in the Fall, the workload is suddenly feeling like it’s going to be even BIGGER for all of us. Parents are having to make really hard family decisions.

A mom struggling to work and spend time with her kid

Questions moms are thinking about right now:

  • How do I keep our family safe while still being able to provide for their needs?
  • Who will make sure my kids are where they need to be academically if they haven’t seen a teacher face to face in months?
  • Am I qualified to be my child’s teacher on top of everything else I already do?
  • Do I have the time, energy, and patience to teach them?
  • How will I get my “real” job done and make sure they’re still learning?
  • How can I possibly keep my sanity any longer?
  • What will all of this cost?
  • How long is it going to last? How long can we live like this?
  • Will people think I’m selfish if I prioritize what I want instead of what my kids need?
  • Is the risk of sending my kids back to school in person worth it?
  • Should we uproot our whole family and move somewhere else?

Some moms don’t even get to decide anything. The choices have already been made for them! Luckily I have a partner in all of this, but some moms don’t. I can’t even begin to imagine how hard that is for them!

For me, the question is whether or not it’s a good time for me to go back to work.

Outside of a few part-time jobs, I’ve been a stay-at-home-mom for the past 5 years. It feels like I’m being forced to decide if going back to work right now is more important than the safety of my kids.

Then I start to think about not only my family’s physical needs, but also how much they need to be with their friends and how we all need a break from each other. What ends up happening for me, is I just get overwhelmed with all of the unknowns and what-ifs. I usually just put the decisions off and hope they’ll be easier later.

As I listen to other friends of mine trying to navigate making these difficult decisions for their own families, I’m reminded that the grass is always greener.

No matter what your situation is in parenting, there’s always going to be someone else’s life that seems better. It’s so easy from the outside to think others have it easier than we do, but in reality, we all have struggles. We all just carry them differently.

Moms who are jealous of each other

What we choose to share with others isn’t always the real picture. So, I think we as moms have to stick together. I’m sure I’ve said this before, but I’ll keep saying it… It takes a village!

Here are a few ways that we can help each other wade through these waters together.

I’m sure you can think of other ways to help the moms in your own life. I’d love for you to share your ideas in the comments!

6 TIPS TO HELP MOMS MAKE BIG DECISIONS

1. THINK ABOUT YOUR VALUES

What’s most important to you and your family? Make that your priority.

Take a break from social media so you can quiet all of other peoples’ opinions and focus on what really matters to YOUR family.

2. REACH OUT FOR SUPPORT

Whatever your situation is, you are not alone.

Some days it may feel like you’re the only one struggling with something, but I guarantee someone out there is feeling the same way. You just have to look for them!

3. GIVE YOURSELF GRACE

We won’t know all the answers right away and we may never know ALL the answers. Give yourself some grace to make mistakes and just try to put one step in front of the other.

Take it one day at a time right now. We don’t really know for sure what tomorrow’s going to look like anyway. So I suggest making decisions about the future based on how things look right now.

4. STOP JUDGING OTHERS

A friend of mine recently told me about how several years ago her daughter wanted to go further in gymnastics. She couldn’t though because the only thing offered at her gym was practice every day from 4:30-5:30.

And when she asked how working moms did it, she was met with an awkward glare. I think she described the other person as saying something like, “Oh you’re one of those.” Or maybe she just interpreted it that way.

A mom being hypocritical and judging another mom

The point is, every mom’s situation is different and we all are doing the best we can.

Aren’t we supposed to be on the same team anyway? So don’t judge other moms for the decisions they make for their families.

Chances are when you start focusing on yourself, making your own decisions will be a lot easier.

5. DON’T BE TOO SENSITIVE

This may sound like a contradiction, but what I mean is don’t take everything personally. Sometimes what may feel like someone judging your ability to be a mom, isn’t.

It may be your own insecurity. The person you’re feeling that from may even be projecting how they feel like a bad mom on you because they wish they could be more like you!

6. LEAN IN TO HELP

Don’t be afraid to ask for help! You may have never actually taken your next-door neighbor up on their offer to help watch your kids. Now is the time to do it. One day you can return the favor somehow.

Or hire help if you can. It’s ok to pay someone to come clean your house once a month if that will help make your to-do list a little shorter on the weekends.

Do what works for YOU! I’m not pretending to be an expert, but I do want moms to know that they aren’t alone. We have to stick together!

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Unusual Pomp and Circumstance

Last Friday was my kids’ last official day of school. Surprisingly they weren’t as excited for that day to come as I expected. I thought they’d be thrilled to be done with homeschooling with their least favorite teacher. But to them it felt like any other day.

Maybe that was because the days are all blurring together now and they really didn’t know what day it was.

We were blessed by a family whose business sponsored an ice cream truck in our neighborhood to celebrate the last day of school. A few days before their teachers had hosted end of the year “parties on zoom.” But it just wasn’t the same.

That night at dinner I asked my 5-year-old if he was excited that he finished Kindergarten and was moving up to 1st grade. His response kind of threw me for a loop.

“But I didn’t finish Kindergarten!” he said. 

That’s when I realized that he was seeing everything from a totally different perspective. Through his eyes, school stopped abruptly two months ago and he never went back.

He didn’t get to have a Kindergarten graduation where his name would have been called so that he could walk across the cafeteria stage to get his diploma. There was no party with his classmates or watching movies and eating sugary treats during the last week of school.

school bus

I know that graduating from Kindergarten isn’t as big of a deal as graduating from high school. He didn’t miss his Senior prom or his Senior Skip Day. Luckily for him, there will be plenty more years of school to see his friends again. There will be time to make memories and participate in all the traditions.

Our kids may be resilient and forget all about the year they were stuck at home for months at a time without even being able to see their grandparents or friends. They may even be enjoying the extra time they’re getting at home with their family. They might not mind the lack of structure, and that they’re getting to stay up late every night.

But they are still feeling the effects of all the birthday parties and vacations that have been cancelled. They still might be sad that they didn’t get to hug their teachers goodbye on the last day of school.

Even though it might not be the same, they are still finishing their school year and moving on to the next. So make sure to let your child know how proud you are of them.

celebrating the end of school with water balloons

HOW TO CELEBRATE THE LAST DAY OF SCHOOL:

  • Have an ice cream sunday bar.
  • Throw a dance party.
  • Let your child pick out a new outside water toy for the Summer.
  • Have chocolate chip pancakes for breakfast.
  • Watch a movie together as a family and let your child pick the movie.
  • Take a special picture on your front porch (even if you forgot to do it on the last day of school and have to take it a week later.)
  • Have a water balloon fight.

You don’t have to organize a 50 car parade of friends and family, but you can still make their end of the school year feel special. Get creative!

This article from Psychology Today has more ideas on how to help your child deal with disappointment. Share in the comments your ideas!

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HOW TO CELEBRATE THE END OF SCHOOL DURING QUARANTINE